All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
