I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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