he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
