Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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