Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.