just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..