therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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