Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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