That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am naked and annoyed.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
