ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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