I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
