you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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