he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
