Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We need to get me chipped asap
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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