would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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