Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
