I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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