community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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