hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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