I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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