It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every concussion has its silver lining
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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