i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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