I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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