she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Life is so much better after having sex.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
