we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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