You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
