So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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