Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
