The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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