Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
