I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
