Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize