After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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