got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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