You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
