Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
