I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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