i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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