Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
