I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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