Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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