She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Boobs are out for the taking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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