I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize