New low: just hacked my moms facebook
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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