Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
