I am spending my child support on dildos
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
