Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I accidentally had phone sex last night
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
