just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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