Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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