i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
