she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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