guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
