But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
