is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
