If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
