The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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